What She Really Wants....

So lately I've notice lots of commercials and Internet articles on "What She Really Wants".... Most of these focus on gift giving, but I've been thinking and have come up with what I think is "The Answer!" What women/girls want isn't any different at Christmas than it is at any other time of year. It's not really the gift that matters is what the gift says. Girls just want to feel special. They want to be number one. The don't have to be spoiled princesses who live to shop and be manicured. No! Women ( at least most of the ones I know) want to be productive. They want to work, whether in a profession or at home. They want to accomplish things. It's just their motivation for these accomplishments are very different from our Male counterparts. Our motivations include; Will he like this? Does this make my family happy? Does this look good? Does this give a good impression of our home/family? Is this enjoyable for all who will participate? These aren't all the motivations. I could list those for days on end and still have more. But this is essentially how women are. They are looking for the most good for the most people, they want to please others. There are times when we are completely selfish. There are times when we just want it our way, but that is not usually the norm.
We want our husbands/significant others to make decisions based on everyone, in the family/relationship. Not what is best for his job, or the company or anyone else. Just our family. We want to feel number one. We want to know that even if it didn't go our way that we were considered first. We want our feelings validated. We realize that men don't feel the gamut of emotions we feel. That doesn't make our feelings silly , or trivial or insignificant. Are there times we over-react! HECK YES!! Do we sometimes make it hard to approach us. Are our tears terrifying. I guess so. So what. Suck it up! Talk to us. This makes us feel accepted. Safe. Valued. These are all important things, at least if you want your girl to be happy anyway! Guys don't always have to agree with the Gals. It's OK to disagree. But it doesn't need to be a fight. I believe all relationships have points where they just be adults and agree to disagree. Now that might not be true of deal breaking issues. But on non-deal breakers it's OK. You just have conversations to figure out how your life together can accommodate both parties. Oh and by the way most women appreciate a good conversation. Let me be more specific. Good conversation does not include; bathroom habits, the weird guy at work, what's for dinner, who won Monday Night Football (unless she loves it too), or any of those things. Good conversation includes, goals, planning the week or weekend, concerns about family, things we love about family, appreciation, small talk, feelings, laughing, expectations, etc...
So how does this apply to gifts... Well I'll tell you. What does your gift say? If you buy your girl a snowboard for Christmas, she better love snowboarding. If she doesn't it says, I want to change you. Not a warm fuzzy Christmas message. If you give your girl a cookbook, she better love to cook or at least have expressed a deep genuine desire to learn otherwise what your gift says is you're a lousy cook. Not good. See what I'm saying. If you want to know what your girl wants listen to what she says on a daily basis. If she says she has nothing to wear standing in front of her full closet, it means she's unhappy with her choices and a new choice would be appreciated! Don't go buy that movie you've been wanting to see for her stocking, ya big butt head, but the one she wants to see. You know, the one that you'd rather poke your eyes out at. And please please please don't buy her a vacuum. I've never met a women who hoped for a vacuum. Unless you have direct orders from her, any work related appliance is a death sentence. OK? OK.
So now you know. Don't say I didn't warn you!
Merry Christmas.
p.s. If you haven't read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you should. It's great!

What's Next

Ok well tonight was the Christmas Party oh excuse me, Holiday Party, for Ryan's unit.... Yes we could not call it a Christmas Party, even though they played Christmas music, the had Christmas Tree's, but we had to cancel the Santa, because that was pushing it... Anyways, not the point today.... The dates were announced for the deployment. So I guess it's official minus the orders. I shouldn't post dates on here, OPSEC ya know. But it's gonna happen. So what's next??
Well I guess we start cramming as much fun into the next few months as possible. It seems to be how we do it ya know. You hear the rumors, and really you know eventually it's gonna happen. Deployment is just a part of what we do anymore.... So you think we'd get smart and just space out our fun and keep it steady, but nope. That's far too logical for this family. We like to go through drought periods and then just pour it on! And now we are entering the pour it on phase. So we'll do Christmas and New Years. Then we'll try to get out and see as much here as we can, before Ryan in goes in the Spring. Then school will end and the kids and I will make the Trek home! Sometimes I wonder if my King of Battle times these things... seems he's always gone for moving and the terrible two's. Sheesh makes ya wonder doesn't it!
So we'll pack up our nine hundred square feet and we'll head back to our wonderful 2700 sq ft! YES!! I don't want Ryan to go, but I gotta admit, I'm excited to get my kitchen back!! It's so much more fun to cook in a REAL kitchen.
So for Ryan's first deployment, I had one goal. Survive. I made it. Then for his second one, I wanted to learn. So I went to school for Nail Tech. I know deep stuff right. But hey it was fun, I did learn and I have a new skill. So for this deployment I need a goal, an objective.... I have two in mind. First when we move back I want to SIMPLIFY!! I know crazy. But we have too much stuff. I want less stuff. So I'm gonna go though everything we packed up and stored, and go through it box by box. We are gonna sell it, donate it or trash it, if I haven't really wanted it back since we've been here in Colorado!! It's a good plan right?! Next is loose weight. Although I haven't completely ruled out more kids, the chances are getting slimmer and slimmer as the days go by. I'd really like to turn " the cave" into an exercise room. And why shouldn't I? I have a treadmill, an eliptical and a weight set. Boom equipment set, just gotta do it right. Sure. Then I would have no more excuses on this weight thing. I wouldnt have to leave my kiddos to go. I could do it day or night, no more excuses. Oh I just thought of one more... I gotta get better at taking pictures. My kids are gonna wonder if they even had a childhood if I don't start taking some. Plus it would really make my blog more fun!
Ok well that's all I have to say today. Too-da-loo!

My family....

I haven't asked my family if they are ok with me talking about them in my blog.... So I'll try not to get too personal, but since I haven't really got any pressing issues boiling my blood, I thought I'd share what I love most!!
     
 My King of Battle. I didn't ask him if it was ok to call him that, but he thinks it's kinda funny. He is a Field Artillery Officer for the ARMY. The nickname for Field Artillery is the King of Battle. See I'm not really clever enough to think of these things on my own. I just borrow other people's idea's. This is true of craft's and decorating as well.... Anyway back to the King. I love him. He is amazing. He has these fierce green eyes. I really like those eyes. He loves his hair short, and I love when he grows facial hair! That only happens when he has multiple days off in a row. The ARMY likes them clean shaven. My King would help anyone, who asks. He's generous with his time and his resources. He's smart. He's handy. He LOVES the Dallas Cowboys. His only fault (ok not really, but I'm being nice here) he doesn't like Dr. Pepper. What?! Who doesn't like Dr. Pepper?? He doesn't but that's ok. Just leaves more for me!
  
 Layne. He is my oldest child. He's bossy like the oldest child should be. But he's not too bossy. He's smart too. He has his Daddy's eyes. But other than that, he looks a lot like my family. He's a Smedley. Layne loves Star Wars. He eats sleeps and drinks it. Layne is very intuitive. If I need a hug, he knows first, and he gives it to me! Usually in the form of a BIG SQUEEZE! He loves to go fishing with his Grandpa. He loves the anual boys campout. Layne is a baseball fan. Not on TV that's too boring. But he loves to play it, and we love to go watch the Ogden Raptors play. We're getting season tickets this year! He's gonna be excited about that.
Layne is tender hearted. I love that about him. He's kind and generous. He's going to be in the Christmas talent show this year. He's lip syncing to We Will Rock You! I know right! American Idol here we come!!

Ashlynn: I call her Ashie Max mostly.... She got her middle name from my Grandma. She got her spunk from her too! This makes me happy. Ashie sticks to her guns. She's a bit stubborn, but I like it. One day she's gonna need to stand up for what's right and she'll have the guts to do it. She has big blue eyes! They are beautiful. Ashie was bald for such a long time... poor girl. She has hair now, and she hates to have it cut, even a trim! She says it took too long to grow! Haha how does she know these things? She's only three!!
Ash talks all the time. Even in her sleep. Once I asked her why she talks so much... her response " because I know everyfing!" ( Yes I spelled thing like fing on purpose, it's how she talks, it's better that way) Awesome answer I thought.

I have two sisters and a brother. Hopefully they don't care if I talk about them. One sister loves movies. She watches them over and over. She has quite the collection. She also makes tons and tons of things on her cricuit machine. I don't know how those babies work, but boy can she whip out any project! I know, I ask her to make stuff for me all the time and she does. Nice to have a sister like that eh? I know you wish you could have her, but sorry I'm keeping her. She's a little shy too... but once you get to know her you better watch out! She doesn't shut up, ok just kidding she does. She takes  a little time to get to know, but once you do, she's a friend for life. My second sister. She's a firecracker! She's the type of girl that can say basically whatever she wants and get away with it! I'm jealous of this quality. She can talk in movies lines, which I love. But my favorite thing about this girl is her BAH HA HA  laugh. It's loud and from her belly! It's awesome! Also if you'd like to ever try something embarrassing or a little out of the norm... she'll try it with you! But she'll out do you so be prepared for that. My brother. He's pretty funny. He is strongly opinionated. I know where did that come from in our family?! Ok so we all are, but his opinions are loud and strong. He's also a germaphob. Such a geek! He goes through purell like we go through Dr. Pepper! My brother is so smart. He is also good with his hands and he's so strong. You'd never guess that last part though because he's sooooo tall and skinny. He's like a green bean! But he could pick me up and toss me with one hand, and that's saying somethin'! He has a good girl at his side. We like her. She keeps him in line. Motivated and whatnot. You know the things that most girls do for crazy boys. Oh yeah and he just bought his first car. He named it.... ARIEL. Yes just like the mermaid... he says she's hot. I told you he was crazy!

My Mama and Daddy:
Yes I do really still call my Daddy, Daddy. I can't help it, It's just what he is to me. I have awesome parents. They taught me a whole lot growin up. I'm grateful to them too, cause now I have kids and I remember some fo the stuff I used to do. God will be giving them extra blessing because I was their child, that's for sure! My Mom has crazy mad sewing skills. She can make anything in any color. She doesn't even need a pattern! She's great with decorating and color schemes and all that jazz. I didn't inherit an ounce of those things. RUDE. My Mom has great eyebrows! They are pretty have, just the right arch and she hardly has to pluck or wax. It's not fair. She also has good hair. Another quality I failed to get! Gosh Mom, what in the heck did you ever do for me? Except maybe carry me for nine months push me out, give me life, teach me, and...ok never mind... My Daddy. He can crow like a rooster!  He's a hard worker! He knows lots too. I call him all the time and ask all sorts of questions he always has the answers...sometimes I think he makes them up, but shoot it always works out. My Dad has this laugh. And when he does it his grin is so big his gold teeth show! I love it. That's when you know he really really liked it. Whatever it was. My Dad is the biggest John Force fan alive! He loves NHRA drag racing. He's a sentimental kind of guy and well that's where I get my tear ducts from. My brother calls my Dad Chubby.... I'm not sure why, but he does. And my Dad calls my brother Chubby! This one is even more unclear since I'd kill for my brothers measurements! (except I'd keep my own chest!haha) I love my family dynamic. We like to tease. We like to play games on Sunday. We eat treats. We drink Dr.Pepper (most of us anyway) and we like chips and salsa. We dare eachother to do dumb stuff. And sometimes we do it. My parents raised a bunch of goofy crazy kids ( that really aren't kids anymore) but they did a good job. We all turned ok, I think.

The Mendenhall Family:
So there are lots of them. It's not really fair to lump all of them together, but I'll save individual families for another day... They are a fun group. We like to play together. We play Oh Heck, Times UP!, Phase 10, spoons, and whatever else we can come up with. At Christmas people usually make up some sort of game for us to play. That's always fun. If you ever play games with the Mendenhalls, watch out for Russel, that's all I'm sayin.
We also do Lake Powell with the Mendenhalls. I had never been to Lake Powell before I met them. It's very fun. We play and ski and eat and eat and eat and play games, and lots of people takes naps. It's a fun vacation where we get to be warm, and enjoy eachother and share the costs! It's awesome. LOVE IT!!
All the cousins love to play. Grandma and Grandpa love to spoil the grandkids (especially Grandma). The adults generally love to gather. I have found some of my very best friends in the Mendenhall family. I'm grateful to have married into such a great family!

Troop Surge.... *sigh*

**disclaimer... I have strong opinions... they are not necessarily that of my husband. I do not speak for the ARMY or any of it's organizations. This is simply the rantings of an ARMY wife... and a crazy one at that!

Last night I watched the President address an audience at West Point(the school, not my hometown!!) As I listened to his plan for a troop surge in Afghanistan, my emotions were mixed. At first I thought oh right... so let's make the men who have all ready been the ones to deploy multiple times deploy again! Let's ask all their families to go through separations, anxiety and ultimately tragedy for some. Let's just keep asking that of the same people over and over.... Notice how it's always the negative feeling that surfaces first... I wonder why that is?? Anyway, then I kept thinking. You know, there are all ready many men and women over there serving. The commanders on the field are essentially saying we don't have the right tools or enough of the right tools to complete our job here!! HELP!! And if we didn't send help we'd be asking those men and women, to experience all they do for nothing. We'd be giving them an impossible task. So in my humble opinion is the troop surge the right thing to do? Yes. I believe it is. Would I be willing to have my husband be a part of that.... well I don't want him volunteering! But if his unit were selected, I would be proud. I would never ask for my husband to be in harms way, but this is his job. It's what he does, it's what he loves! Is it hard? Absolutely. In fact there are times when I'd say it's excruciating. Deployment has such long lasting effects on a family. None of which can you fathom unless you've been there, done that. There is a reason why the military divorce rate is much much higher than the rest of the nation. Soldiers see and experience things most never will. Things that can be unspeakable. Things that are haunting.... Families experience high levels of stress. Feelings of abandonment,anxiety, pride, and the feeling that you are running in quick sand! Many relationships are forever altered, and many do not survive the mutation. But all of this is necessary. All of this is for our Nation! To keep us protected, to keep us free, and to help us realize nothing comes without a price. So to all the nay sayers out there I say... What is the alternative?? What would you have us do instead? How do you propose we protect our nation and our freedoms without fighting for them? Is the war nice? NOPE. Is it pretty? UH-UH, not even close, Is it right? I guess that's up for debate. But really there is only one question, at least for me... is it necessary? I say YES! Let's fight this fight. Let's win this war! Let's let in be known that you pick on the United States of America, we will not back down! We will come, we will defeat you, you will have consequences. Let's help free nations. And most important to me, let's make this world a better, safer place, so my son, our sons will not have to fight the same battles!