What She Really Wants....

So lately I've notice lots of commercials and Internet articles on "What She Really Wants".... Most of these focus on gift giving, but I've been thinking and have come up with what I think is "The Answer!" What women/girls want isn't any different at Christmas than it is at any other time of year. It's not really the gift that matters is what the gift says. Girls just want to feel special. They want to be number one. The don't have to be spoiled princesses who live to shop and be manicured. No! Women ( at least most of the ones I know) want to be productive. They want to work, whether in a profession or at home. They want to accomplish things. It's just their motivation for these accomplishments are very different from our Male counterparts. Our motivations include; Will he like this? Does this make my family happy? Does this look good? Does this give a good impression of our home/family? Is this enjoyable for all who will participate? These aren't all the motivations. I could list those for days on end and still have more. But this is essentially how women are. They are looking for the most good for the most people, they want to please others. There are times when we are completely selfish. There are times when we just want it our way, but that is not usually the norm.
We want our husbands/significant others to make decisions based on everyone, in the family/relationship. Not what is best for his job, or the company or anyone else. Just our family. We want to feel number one. We want to know that even if it didn't go our way that we were considered first. We want our feelings validated. We realize that men don't feel the gamut of emotions we feel. That doesn't make our feelings silly , or trivial or insignificant. Are there times we over-react! HECK YES!! Do we sometimes make it hard to approach us. Are our tears terrifying. I guess so. So what. Suck it up! Talk to us. This makes us feel accepted. Safe. Valued. These are all important things, at least if you want your girl to be happy anyway! Guys don't always have to agree with the Gals. It's OK to disagree. But it doesn't need to be a fight. I believe all relationships have points where they just be adults and agree to disagree. Now that might not be true of deal breaking issues. But on non-deal breakers it's OK. You just have conversations to figure out how your life together can accommodate both parties. Oh and by the way most women appreciate a good conversation. Let me be more specific. Good conversation does not include; bathroom habits, the weird guy at work, what's for dinner, who won Monday Night Football (unless she loves it too), or any of those things. Good conversation includes, goals, planning the week or weekend, concerns about family, things we love about family, appreciation, small talk, feelings, laughing, expectations, etc...
So how does this apply to gifts... Well I'll tell you. What does your gift say? If you buy your girl a snowboard for Christmas, she better love snowboarding. If she doesn't it says, I want to change you. Not a warm fuzzy Christmas message. If you give your girl a cookbook, she better love to cook or at least have expressed a deep genuine desire to learn otherwise what your gift says is you're a lousy cook. Not good. See what I'm saying. If you want to know what your girl wants listen to what she says on a daily basis. If she says she has nothing to wear standing in front of her full closet, it means she's unhappy with her choices and a new choice would be appreciated! Don't go buy that movie you've been wanting to see for her stocking, ya big butt head, but the one she wants to see. You know, the one that you'd rather poke your eyes out at. And please please please don't buy her a vacuum. I've never met a women who hoped for a vacuum. Unless you have direct orders from her, any work related appliance is a death sentence. OK? OK.
So now you know. Don't say I didn't warn you!
Merry Christmas.
p.s. If you haven't read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you should. It's great!