Wayne and Maxine....

My paternal Grandparents.... I love them sooooo much. In fact when we named Layne we spelled it this way for Grandpa who is Wayne, and Ashlynn bears Maxine for her middle name. We lost Grandma last December. I still tear up when I think about her.... she was an amazing woman, who taught me so much. Grandpa, isn't doing very well. I got the phone call this morning, his hospice nurse found pneumonia in both lungs and they suspect his kidney's are shutting down. *Sigh* I really really really wanna go home! This is the hardest part for me of being an ARMY wife. When things happen at home, I'm not there! I want to say good-bye.... I can't. I want to hug him, and kiss his forehead. I want to hear him sing Jumbo elephant one more time. I have so many memories of my Grandparents. They are all such good fun memories. It's hard to imagine life without them in it. I guess my job now is to first remember what they taught me and to live by it. And Second keep their memory and traditions alive. That way their lives and what they worked so hard for is honored. ( In my humble opinion) I also wish I could afford to buy the Big White House on the Hill. I want to put the rose carpet back where it belongs! I want the sewing room, back to a sewing room and I want to read in Grandpa's study! I have so many great memories of that house and all the HUGE family gatherings we had there.
Also I need to take a second... I don't know if any of my family reads my non-sense blog, but if they do, this needs to be said. And if they don't I still need to say it. My Aunt Kathy took the care of my ailing Grandparents on herself. She made the arrangements. She made the doctors appointments and took them. She cooked and cleaned for them. She put up the bears and took down the bears. She grocery shopped for them, she basically put her life and her desires aside to assist my Grandparents. It's been years that she's been doing this. Taking time off work, taking no time for herself and really putting her own health at risk, to care for two very amazing people. To her I would like to say. THANK YOU!!! You are truly an Angel of the Lord. His work came to pass through your hands. You are a selfless, beautiful woman, and I love you!
Do you see now why I say Family is Everything!!? They are. I love mine.

Onto the Countdown!!

The King of Battle has been gone for almost a month now.... When you are part of any branch of the Armed Forces you "get" to spend lots of time apart from your servicemen/woman. It kinda sucks honestly. But it has become part of our lives, and really you get kinda used to it... well OK not really, but you make it work and you find a routine that gets you through. In fact I find myself a little jaded sometimes. I hear women (mostly) talking about how their husbands are gone for a week sometimes two for Business trips, and I think to myself... Oh what a baby! Rude, I know! I can be that way sometimes. I was watching the show The Deadliest Catch. If you haven't watched it you should. It's on TLC. Anyway they were doing a wives show. And there were these women on TV crying and carrying on about how hard it is to be alone for 6 weeks, or two months, or a season. I'm not 100% sure how long every season is, but I do know that it's not an 18 month season, or two years. Heck it's not even a whole year, so I found myself heckling these women instead of having compassion for them.... Not very nice. I'm gonna work in this I promise!
So when my King is gone, which lately seems to be a lot... we make it. In fact we try really hard to do more than just survive. We try to remain positive, grow and hey have some fun!! It's so easy to dwell on why it's hard, and boo hoo for me, but when I do that, I'm not a good Mom, and I'm no fun to come home to either I'm sure. Plus being a cry baby sure takes a lot of energy! Now I'm not saying I don't have my hard days, cause oh BABY! I DO!! I cry and wail and whine, and if I could get away with throwing myself on the floor and having a tantrum I might try it, but since my kids aren't allowed to do that, I exercise self-control!! I have a good friend who I call, at all hours of the day or night and I tell her why my life is so unfair, and she tells me it's true, and pacifies me, until my next break down! But isn't it awesome that I can do all that! Isn't it cool I have such food friends and family who'll support me!! It is. IT'S AWESOME!
So now here we are with days till my King comes home and we've switched to countdown mode. We clean really well, we grocery shop for his favorites, and I try kinda sorta to clean out the cars so he doesn't know that pandemonium that breaks out there while he's gone. I shave my legs too! Isn't that so nice of me!? I know that this last thing is greatly appreciated! ha ha!
5....4....3....2.... 1 He's coming home!!

Friday Nights!

So once again it's Friday night, and where am I.... surfing the web. I know. Exciting right? Not really, but the kiddos are camped out watching a kiddo flick, and in this small apartment what else is there to do? I remember when I was a wee one! I looked forward to Friday nights. They were when all the fun happened! My Mom and Dad usually went out with friends and so we got pizza and to hang out with the kids of the friends... And if that didn't happen then we got pizza and rented some fabulous VHS or Nintendo game!! AWESOMENESS!!!
But the King of Battle is out training....again. I'm here with the kiddos as usual. It's not fun for other couples to hang out with the loner, and another Mom with a bunch of kids can be fun but not in 900sq feet! So I'm here surfing the web, and posting to my blog... Party Animal!!
I'd better slow down.

Here's the Skinny....

I realize that all of this is very random... It's how my brain functions, I can't help it. Maybe one day I'll figure out organization....
Back in the day I felt like I looked pretty good. Now I've never had a size four figure...or whatever it's cool to be now. But I was happy with my looks. I've never been an athlete, I'm actually quite uncoordinated. I tried to be a dancer, but it was more fun than skill. Now here I am 20ish pounds heavier and not quite so happy about it... I justify myself. I have a husband who's gone lots. I have lots of stress when he's deployed. I have small kids at home, what do I do with them while I exercise?? But really what it boils down to is exercise just isn't high enough on my priority list. There are women, who make it happen. They find the babysitter or take the kids along, or leave them in their beds sleeping at the buttcrack of dawn. (I don't do the buttcrack of dawn. It's not in my genetic makeup. It's physically painful.) Also have I ever mentioned how paranoid I am?? I really am. I can't leave them in their beds sleeping... what if someone breaks in? What if there's a fire? All these things plague me. I can't bring myself to do it. So now what. There are options. I can starve myself... actually that's a little extreme. I could cut out all the things I shouldn't have as a non exerciser! No sugar, soda, less pasta and bread. Low fat, eat fish. Have I ever said how I detest things that have once had gills?? I like food. I like sugar, I really really really love Dr. Pepper!!!!!! It's my downfall. I really know I shouldn't consume it like I do, but I love it. It loves me. I like Mexican food and LOVE Italian food. Do you see why this is such a plight for me? I love all these things. I don't love exercise, but I don't love how I look. I"m shallow. I wanna look awesome, I don't want to give up things I love to do it.... A Rock and a Hard Spot. That's where I am....

Places we've been....

Freiburg Temple... Germany

Some Castle in Prague!

Neuschwanstein Castle ... Germany. This is the castle Walt Disney patterned Cinderella's castle after!!

Hoeschwangau... another Bavarian Castle of King Ludwig

What do you stand for??

Today something occurred to me.... If someone were to ask if I'd die for the things I believe in, my answer would be yes. But my daily actions do not show that. I constantly say family is my life, and yet more often than not, they get the brunt of my frustrations and temper. These actions contradict my declaration. Also I say I believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! I do. I believe it to true, in fact I would go as far to say I know it to be truth. But on a daily basis I fail to do some of the most basic principles of my faith.... It's time for change. If my husband can declare to hold this nation in the highest esteem, and he is willing on a constant basis to put it before his own wants and desires (like living with his family), then I can follow his example and do the same! It's time to find the path to permanent and positive change!

Saturday Mornings

Saturday Mornings at our house mean clean, clean, clean. The King of Battle doesn't oppose cleaning he just hates that it takes all morning. He wants to go play! Now let me be perfectly honest here.... I HATE CLEANING. I do. I hate it. I think it's boring, and useless because it's undone in minutes... but I have this thing about smells. I can't have bad smells in my house. They physically make me sick. Nauseous. Gross. So I clean. I scrub the garbage cans, the bathrooms, and the kitchen cause those are the REALLY smelly places. Then we dust everywhere and organize everything, back to how it's supposed to be, but doesn't stay during the week. The whole time I tell myself, clean smells good. That's my motivation! I really do love the way a clean house smells!!
The job I don't mind, yard work. True it's hard, sometimes hot and sweaty, but no one can undo your yard work. If you weed the flower beds no one can come by in ten minutes and re-weed it for you. And if you mow the lawn, it's just done till next week! I love this. When you clean a toilet it's useless, because someone is just gonna pee in it, and there goes clean. There you have it folks. My take on cleaning and yard work. Good to know eh?

Layne and Ashie Max

I have two AWSOME kiddos. They keep me movin' I tell ya. I love them, they keep me going, even when I don't wanna anymore.

I sometimes have people tell me how strong I am.... I have them fooled! Let me tell you something. Real life truth: I'm crazy. Seriously basketcase!! I'm not organized, I wish I were, but I'm not, and I unload on my King of Battle all the time. I'm sure he's thinking come on Lady! Get it together! But he's smart enough to not say such things out loud. This is how I look at it. My life is my life. It's not harder or more troublesome than anyone else's. Do I have my share of burdens?? Of course I do. Everyone does right!! Mine are just quite visible. I do this, and can handle this life, because the Lord helps me. He makes up the difference. He is, what I lack.
Now, all that said, let me tell you something... ARMY life is not for the fainthearted. It's not easy. And you get no say so. None. You don't pick where you live, what schools you go to, when your husband/wife comes home from work. You don't get overtime, and believe me they work overtime. But it's not without it's perks either. I never have to pack my own boxes. I have health insurance. I've met people all over the world. I've experienced service from friends, family and neighbors. I've even had people pay for our dinner at a restaurant without knowing us, because my husband was in his uniform! ( I know! How did they even see him? They must have good eyes, cause that camo really works! ) My husband has the satisfaction of knowing that when he dies, the world, the real physical world will be a better place because of him. He helped make things better, not just for our family, or a community, but for a Nation!!! ( More than one actually) How awesome is that?!

So here's my ARMY gripe for this week. They have a program on the bases called CYS. I know why all the letters!! The ARMY couldn't function without acronyms.... anyway, it stands for Children and Youth Services. So Ryan goes in the first time to register our kids. He sits there are waits FOREVER in their waiting room, finally when he gets back there they hand him a stack of paperwork and say have all this filled out and come back. He thinks why didn't the receptionist tell me that before I wasted half a day in your black hole waiting room!! So he brings me the paperwork. I fill it all out. I pull all the shot records, take the kids to the doctor and get physicals, and go back. Then I find out because I'm honest and included on the form that my kids have allergies to certain antibiotics they have to go through a medical review board to make sure the can have care!!! Seriously! All I want are swim lessons people, and the occasional hourly babysitter. Why do antibiotics matter? GRRRRR. So 30 days later we get the ok to go back to registration. So I go back. This time it was a close call. The black hole waiting room almost didn't let us out! After two hours of the black hole I get to a desk. YES! Victory!! Oh no just kidding. we can't register your kids. See the Doctor didn't put the physicals on the CYS paper, he gave us his own form and that is unacceptable, oh and Layne needs another Chicken Pox shot. Yes we realize we told you before that his shots were acceptable, but now we've changed our minds. Yes we realize that the schools and the state only require one shot, but we require that you stab your children needlessly again, and inject them with a diseased serum so that they can have swim lessons. Are you kidding me??!! I told the lady as nicely as I could that I hated them! They never tell you the same thing twice, that I think they just make stuff up to entertain themselves. I told them to get on the same page, and that even though city rec is twice the price, I think I'll go there! You can keep your hourly care!

When I hear that my friends and family are hurting, or even just struggling, I'm the type of person who just wants to take it away... to fix it quick! And I can't. And this is problematic for me. I want to offer these profound words, or a sincere action and POOF! Have it all be better. But I live in a real world, where such things are just not possible..... DANG.

How I became an Army Wife...
In 2003 my King of Battle was getting ready to graduate from Weber State University. We needed to make a decision on how were going to make a living. During his time at Weber, we discovered the ROTC program. The more he was involved with them, the more he loved the ARMY!! The more he loved the ARMY the less I did. He really really wanted to go active duty. I REALLY didn't. In fact I went as far as to say that if he did I would divorce him.(I want to note here that is was very hurtful for me to say that, and it was also wrong.) But at the time it's very much how I felt. So then we decided to get smart. We came up with a way to make this decision that we were both happy with. We took it to the Lord. Our religious convictions are something that the King of Battle and I are 100% in agreement on. We felt it to be the best way to make our decision.
Now here we are many moons later an active duty ARMY family. I still have mixed emotions about it, but I have never questioned whether we made the right decision. It hasn't been easy, but it has been right. We have been so very blessed. I have learned so much, and still have lessons to learn. But one thing I have now that I didn't before.... a love for my country, my flag and my freedom. Now the National Anthem brings tears to my eyes. ( I cry a lot!) The flag displayed beautifully makes my heart skip a beat. A soldier in uniform catches my eye, always. I appreciate the freedoms I have, and mostly I AM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!!

I'm the kinda girl that just likes to lay it all out there! I like to say what I think, when I think it. Sometimes that's not so smart... that's why I'm starting an Army Wife blog. Now I can complain, out loud to no one at all or anyone willing to read, but I don't have to complain to my honey. Or I can brag, and say how cool I think my soldier is, and it's out there for anyone who's lookin'!! So here it is. The start of my blog.

Today is Veteran's day. I think it's a highly under-rated holiday. It was on this day in 1919 that WWI came to an end. And since then there have been countless battles fought, and too many lives lost. And yet we comemmerate this day with sales, and bank closures.... while I think it's great to give people a day off, I think it's highly unknown, what this day is, what it means. To anyone who's loved a soldier and lost a soldier I say God Bless You. To the men and women to serve, THANK YOU!! And to the families of those currently serving, I feel your pain, and your pride!